Journal Entry

I am almost to the 200s again! It’s gonna be a long way, but I can DO IT!

My BP is still up in the morning but by the time the evening gets here sometimes, it’s high.

It’s still early in the day so I’ll write more, maybe later.

Well, the day has gone fast and I’m ready for bed, but if I go to bed now I’ll get woke up when he gets home. I need a good solid eight hours of sleep.

I am so glad I did this. I should have done it a long time ago. But better late than never! So, I’m watching TV till hubs get here. My blood pressure has been up and down today. I’m trying to do my best at protein, but my fat keeps passing my protein.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Well, I screwed myself out of sleep last night and so now I have no loss in my weight. It’s super important to get good sleep at night so your body can properly heal itself. Sleep is VERY IMPORTANT! For me, I need 8 hours flat! But I’d rather be the same weight than gain!

I’m mixing in a few days of Intermittent Fasting, so I started IF yesterday at 8 PM and I won’t eat till tonight at 6 PM. It’s easy, I just fill up on water.

I decided to come to the park with my son so he could walk around and I could watch, I can’t walk today. Leo came to the gazebo and sat with me. It’s a beautiful day and not that hot and a nice breeze. Some fit guy is slowly jogging around the park, I wish I could do that. But soon enough! I WILL! It will take some time, but I WILL!

Today I was happy to see a 21 lb loss. I kinda knew because of my foods from yesterday plus I’m in ketosis. That means I’m burning fat!  I was happy to get my first appointment with the surgeon and my first diet appointment.

I have been looking through the pics in the FMWLCs Facebook Group Photos and honestly, they bring tears to my eyes. I have lost weight and gained it. I want to finally be a success story FOR ME! I know how to lose weight and gain it. In fact, I’m proficient at them both. But I need this more than anything in my life, EVER!

My Smiles are never real, it’s upside down practically. One day though I will feel good enough to smile big and real! Started on October 8th, 2022, and I was 326 lbs on this date. Just 10 lbs less than I was the last time I tried to lose weight. On the 10th of October, I went to Flowers Metabolic Weight Loss Center and I was 323 lbs on their scale. I honestly lost my stuff, because once I saw the requirements for the surgery my anxiety kicked in and I left without wasting anyone’s time. I wasn’t going to do these procedures! What did they want me to do?

• Bariatric Surgery Preop program fee $300
• 5-year weight history documentation
• Sleep Study
• EGD
• Colonoscopy
• Mammogram
• Mental Health Eval & Clearance for Bariatric Surgery
• Support Group Attendance
• 3 or 6-month supervised diet with FMWLC
• Complete preop nutrition class
• Medical Clearance for surgery from a Cardiologist
• Negative Nicotine Test

The main two that made me think NO WAY! Were the colonoscopy and EGD, but mainly the colonoscopy. That is a procedure that I feel is 100% against my will and a violation of my body that my insurance requires for me to have the surgery.  So they might as well… Whatever… not a fan, I’m not just saying, but I’m just saying. So, I went home, cried and cried, and hated myself even more for being so weak and a coward.  Then something hit me and exactly 7 days later I called the FMWLC back and asked them if I could get on their schedule again. They said I’d have to wait a little bit out this time or I could come into today’s Seminar at 1 PM. I said I’d be there! On October 17th, 2022 I returned to the FMWLC and I completed the Seminar, I went in weighing 2 lbs less than last week. So they told me I could keep my same weight loss goal. Which was to go from 323 lbs to 307 lbs by surgery. But my goal is to lose 60 lbs or close to it before surgery to help me lose a little more before then for my own safety and satisfaction!